Cashews Whipwater

During Koop's time on Jimmer's radio show, Wooden Breakfast, Koop created a character who returned several times on the program as the show's traffic reporter. Cashews, however, would always be reluctant to provide any form of a traffic report and instead want to boast about his impossible historical run-ins, friendships, and intimate encounters with Hollywood celebrities and historical figures which never made any chronological sense or could have been true to any degree. His tales ranged from his supposed time in "the war" where he was in an elite parachuting squad known as "The Tippy Angels," where their entire reason for existing was to fly over the battlefield at night, jump out of the plane wearing tap shoes, and tap "It's late, time to go to bed" in Morse code to the troops below so they knew it was bedtime. He also claimed to know Danny DeVito, Dame Judi Dench, Sir Patrick Stuart, Kim Fields (Tootie from "The Facts of Life"), and MANY others, all of which had stories that were based in the absurd. Similar to the Elaine Wells Twitch redeem, there does exist a Cashews Whipwater redemption, where Koop will briefly jump into the character of Cashews for a bit, but folks seemed to want Elaine more often, so he sometimes has the Cashews one disabled to keep the options less cluttered.